I have no idea what I was taking. It was so long ago...I don't think it was anything prescription--my pharmacist has no record of it. I can't even remember being sick.

[private]
I can't believe I did this to her. And, I mean, I must have. This must be a sign. We're doomed.
[/private]

Things have been really busy lately. Cases and all that. I don't know. I suppose it's a good thing.

Been listening to The Scissor Sisters' new album. It's pretty good. I'd bring it to the hospital but I doubt anyone would like it.

Ummm...that's about it. Nothing exciting.

I don't think I'm coming back. I'll just stay here. I'd forgotten how nice it is.

I'm kidding, of course. I'll be back in a week or so. We're still sorting out the details of my dad's estate, and all that. We've had to clean out the house, and we've put it on the market. Apparently they never sold my mum's house, either, so Caro and have been working that out as well. It was in pretty bad shape. Kind of sucks to use your vacation time doing manual labor, but whatever.

Not that most of you care. I was just checking in.

[private]

I can't wait to get out of here.

[/private]

[private to Cameron]

Hey! How's everything? Is Teeter ok? He probably likes you better than me. I'm a bad kitten-father.

I tried to call you twice, but I couldn't get an answer. I don't know if I have the wrong number or if I've screwed up the international dialing or what. But I tried. I can't wait to get back, so I can tell you everything that's happened. I mean, if you don't mind listening. You don't hate me for leaving so quickly, do you?
[/private]

Resurfacing...

I know I just kind of fell off the face of the earth. I'm in Australia, visiting my sister. We're trying to patch things up, and I feel pretty good about it.

Anyway, I'll be back relatively soon. Just checking in.

[private]
Should I call her? I've been thinking about calling her since I got on the plane. I don't really have anything to say, though. So I'd just be calling.

I miss her.

[/private]

Date: 6/18/06, evening
Location: Chase's Apartment
Status: Private
Characters: Cameron and Adrian (Chase's friend)
Completion: Incomplete

( Movie Night! )

My friends, Brian and Adrian, came up yesterday. It's great to have them around--they're excellent people. Too bad they're only here for three days.

Got rid of her last night. She did not take it well. But I'm ok with that.

I think the phrase "dodged a bullet" could apply. Man, she was crazy.

So we're having dinner and she's talking about who knows what (it's hard to keep up with her sometimes) and she refers to me as her boyfriend.

I am not her boyfriend. I'm not her boyfriend because we're not dating. We've been out to dinner twice. I'm not even sure of her name (I think it's Liz or Lizzie or something along those lines) and she thinks I'm her boyfriend?

And, she got mad because I didn't want her to come up to my apartment. But...I don't let people up to my apartment. I can count on one hand the number of people who've been in my apartment since I've moved in. That's my space. You don't just...invite yourself into it.

Needless to say, I'm really freaked out. She has something planned for tomorrow, so I think I'm just going to tell her I don't want to see her anymore then. I don't really know how I ended up going out with her in the first place.

[private]

She's dating a patient? There has to be some sort of rule about that.

And...doesn't she like House? Is this just to make him jealous?

[/private]

I don't understand girls.

Went out last night, with the girl I met at the pet store.

She's...well, she seems nice. Talkative.

Ok, so it was a little weird and I felt uncomfortable for almost the entire thing. But I think it's just her personality.

For some reason, we're going out again day after tomorrow. I'm not sure why, but I suppose I'm looking forward to it.

Three facts for Tuesday:

1. Teeter has destroyed my couch.
2. Cameron slept on said destroyed couch.
3. I feel like an ass.

To all who were inconvenienced by my recent drunken state, I'm sorry. Especially Cameron--thanks for getting me home in one piece. Sorry about my awful couch and for spoiling your night. And, you know, for everything.

[private]

Fuck it. Just fuck it.

I can’t believe I slept with her again. Last time, I freaked out the night after. I’m getting freaked out again, and it hasn’t even been twelve hours. This is exactly why I said it couldn’t happen again.

This whole situation with Cameron makes me think of the years when it was just me an my mum. She knew I wouldn’t fight her, so she didn’t bother to hide her drinking from me. She’d tell me to make her cocktails, and I would, even though I didn’t want to. She’d tell me to open the bottles when she was too drunk to open them herself, and every time I’d decide that I wouldn’t do it. But then she’d push me, even the slightest little bit, and I would. It was easier. Because she didn’t cry when she was drunk. She liked me when she was drunk. I was a good son when she was drunk. I let her drink herself to death because it was easier for me to deal with than denying her.

The reason Cameron called me the first time is because she knew I’d do what she wanted. She knew I was attracted to her, and she was high and wanted to have sex so she called me. Robert Chase, the man with no spine, who’ll do anything if you ask him twice.

Was last night a repeat? Did she call me knowing that I’d sleep with her? Or did she really want the company and then decide that she’d sleep with me? Or did the sex just happen?

Fuck. The sex didn’t just happen. I mean, I wasn’t even ambivalent about sleeping with her…I wasn’t going to sleep with her. I definitely wasn’t going to sleep with her. I came over because she was upset and she said I was her only friend and I think she might be my only friend in this city, too, and you should be there for your friends. But I wasn’t going to have sex with her, because last time I freaked out afterward. But she wanted it, and I caved. And now it’s going to be awkward.

I hate this. I’m such a pussy.

[/private]

It's Thursday, and I always vacuum on Thursday. It's good for the carpet. Especially this week, since there are little black cat hairs all over everything. So anyway...Thursday=vacuuming.

Well, I turned on the vacuum and Teeter freaked. His hair stood straight up and he froze...you would have sworn he was a stuffed animal. When I went over to see him, he squealed and ran to hide behind the fridge. He's still there, actually.

So I guess it's been a traumatic week for both of us. At least House won't be shot every Tuesday. I suppose that gives me an advantage over the cat. My shoulder still hurts from pushing Cameron out the door. I hope I didn't hurt her.

And I guess Teeter has to get over the vacuum thing eventually. Maybe there's some way to train him not to freak.

The parking lot for my apartment building is about half a block away from the building itself, and to get to the building from the lot, I have to walk past a small alley way. Last night, on my way back from work, I heard something crying in the alley. Upon further investigation, it was a shoebox in the dumpster that was making all the noise, or more specifically--the kittens inside of it.

So I brought them back to my place, skinned them, and ate them for dinner.

I'm kidding, of course. I took them to the vet and (after he gave them their shots) called Cameron, since she'd been thinking about getting cats. Long story short, she now has two kittens. I kept one of them.

I call mine Teeter--he's completely black and has quite the attitude. Thankfully, I'm fairly certain that he likes me. He's a real attention hog but that works for us, since he and I are the only ones in the apartment. Also, he's already caught on to the litter box idea. I'm incredibly pleased.

Honestly, I never thought I'd be a cat person. But now that I have one, I don't see why I thought I wouldn't like it.

So here it is...the journal of Robert Chase.

If my friends at home knew I was keeping a diary, they'd murder me.